Ahhhh gay marriage.

I know I don’t write daily like I said I was going to, but sometimes I just get so heated that I can’t help it. This gay marriage/Obama thing has turned into more for me than just an issue over who’s allowed to marry who. It’s ruining Facebook for me, AND THAT’S NOT COOL. I love discussing controversial topics with people. Usually. But lately? I don’t have the patience for it. If  your DIFFERENT opinion is founded on something and you have reasons for believing what you do and all that good stuff then we’re gravy. But people these days are just proving to me that they’re completely clueless about the way the world and the government works, and the ignorance, naivete and blind faith combined is enough to give me an ulcer.

 

I’ve decided a few things these past few days. One is that I’m going to try my best to steer away from posting ultra political things because  all it does is causes problems. I read people’s political posts and disagree with them so vehemently that I have to either hide their posts so I can’t see it or unload all of my political views into the comment section. I do like a good discussion but with some people it’s very difficult to keep it in the mature, adult discussion range that I prefer it to be, as it seems to escalate to absolute ridiculousness if someone’s not super careful. I am SO passionate about what I believe and what I don’t believe that it’s really hard for me to keep these opinions under control.

 

I’ve unfriended a LOT of people in the past few months. Seriously, I went from 7 or 800 friends down to less than 400. I deleted the people who lived on my floor in my dorm room of the college I went to for ONE year 6 years ago. I deleted the people I saw in the hallways of high school but never spoke a word to in real life. I deleted random people I met one time at a party that gave me their email address drunkenly one night at a party.  I kept my friends that I actually talk to and hang out with, sorority sisters, theater friends, and a handful of others that I feel may come in handy some day as a networking opportunity. It looks like there are about to be exceptions to the rule, as I cannot stand to subject myself to the kind of political drama that’s going to stress me out as much as it has been lately. Call me paranoid, but I almost feel as though some posts recently have been made just to get under my skin, and they’ve done exactly that. I’ve gotten so worked up recently that it’s really causing me to rethink Facebook altogether. I had a moment the other night where I almost deactivated, but then I realized that I really do enjoy being able to keep in touch with certain people that I otherwise wouldn’t talk to on a regular basis. Aunts and Uncles, my boyfriend’s family down in Louisiana, friends who live in other countries. These are people that mean the world to me, and the base reason why Facebook was created in the first place. As a foundation to reconnect and to stay connected.

 

I’m stripping Facebook down to the bare essentials.  I’m unafraid to unfriend the people who don’t in some way improve my quality of life, or dilude it with drama. I removed the Facebook application from my phone, because I’ve realized that I am on Facebook way too much as it is. I’m on the computer from 9-4 or 5 every day at work, and let’s be honest, Facebook is never too far away. I have a personal laptop and a business laptop, my mom has a laptop, my dad has a laptop, there is a desktop in my parent’s office. I can check Facebook any time I please. Do I really need to check it when I’m out to lunch with someone, or while I’m stopped at a red light? It’s too much. I have a personal email address and a business email address. A home phone, a cell phone, a business phone, a personal extension, a private work line and fax accessability. I am already one of the most connected and accessible people on the planet, and I see no reason or advantage to having FB on my phone as well.

 

It’s absolutely ridiculous that I have let social media affect me so much in the first place, but it has. I’m a social butterfly, I love people, I love socializing. I am passionate about everything I say, feel and do, and I want to come across in that way. But I am to a point where I am too much of an adult for all of this childish bullshit that’s all over the place. It has gotten far too immature for my taste, and I’m calling myself on it. I’ve participated for too long, and it’s just time I step back.

 

I didn’t realize when I logged on here today that I was going to spew that much crap up there, but I guess that’s just my style. I’ve a tendency to be long-winded, but that’s something you probably already knew about me. I’m keeping this blog open for moments exactly like this. When I need a second (half hour) to vent, but I don’t want to do it on Facebook anymore. This whole mess here was because I wanted to take a post I made on Facebook the other day OFF of FB, but I liked what I wrote so I wanted to post it here so that I would have it. That was the whole point! Can you believe it? All that explanation that I don’t even know or CARE if anyone read. Whatever, here it is. Here’s what I posted about gay marriage yesterday.

 

 

“I’m in like a thousand different places with this NC gay marriage mess. Do I think gays should be able to marry? Most definitely. It doesn’t hurt me, it doesn’t involve me, it has nothing to do with me. I can get married, why shouldn’t they? No big deal. Do I think that these people who vote to keep it banned are a little backwards? Most definitely. What they don’t seem to realize is that their ba…ns are not going to stop people from being gay. All it’s doing is making it so that they can’t enjoy the benefits marriage has to offer. So what’s the point in banning it? THAT I don’t get. However on the other side of the spectrum… I understand everyone is upset about this turn of events, but I just don’t think that getting all nasty and hateful towards the people that voted to ban it is going to make the difference we’re trying to see here. Gays don’t think it’s fair that people are hating on them solely for being gay, so they probably won’t accomplish much by hating the ban supporters for THEIR opinions. Isn’t that the entire issue right there? Tolerance for different points of view? If we expect people to respect gays and their opinions/morals/viewpoints/etc, we need to also reciprocate that very value. You can’t call someone a fucktard for their views while trying to get them to accept YOUR lifestyle. That’s all I’m sayin y’allll.”

 

 

Amirite?? Enough with the hate you guys. Anti-gay marriage-ers? Stop hating gays for wanting to get married. Gays? Stop hating anti-gay-marriage-ers for not wanting you to get married. The whole point is to be more tolerant of one another, and neither of you are being successful in that. The whole point is to be respectful of people’s different opinions, and neither of you are being successful in that. We will NEVER come to a middle ground if everyone is so hell-bent on forcing their viewpoints down everyone elses throats (MY WHOLE POINT!!). Does this make any sense to anyone else???

 

The main things I want to get across here are these:

• I am not gay. I am straight.
• I support gay marriage.
• I will not be voting for a ban on gay marriage.
• I think those who DO vote for a ban on gay marriage are slightly backwards, and are fighting a winless fight. It is 2012, gay people WILL get the right to marry some day, even if it takes a while. You are stopping no one from being gay, you are ‘reforming’ no one. They WILL win, you’re only slowing them down.
• HOWEVER. I RESPECT their decision to vote for a ban on gay marriage. THIS IS AMERICA, THAT’S WHAT WE DO. WE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS, DIFFERENT VIEWS, AND WE GET TO VOTE.
• THEREFORE. I do NOT support or wish to participate in all the HATE that is being slung between the gay community and those who voted to ban gay marriage. On EITHER side.
• The gay community slinging bullshit at those who voted to ban gay marriage are just as guilty of intolerance as those who made the vote.

That’s all I’ve got folks, passion is exhausting.

Today’s political rant on Facebook.

Had a good debate on FB this morning concerning this whole Trayvon Martin mess. Before anyone goes accusing me of not being informed, I’ve read and seen the news, I’ve heard the 911 recordings, I’ve looked further into EVERYthing going on with this case at this point. Maybe it’s just the Libra in me, but I can clearly see both sides of this thing, and that’s the point I’m trying to get across here. It’s just not as clear cut as everyone else but me seems to think it is. I can see how it looks like George Zimmerman should be in jail right now. His violent past, the 911 calls, the police telling him to stay where he is. It looks bad, it looks really bad. But WE WEREN’T THERE. What’s NOT on the tapes is when Zimmerman and Martin crossed paths. We don’t know what was said or done. We don’t know if Trayvon was trying to play it off like he had a gun or a weapon and was threatening Zimmerman, or if Zimmerman just went on the offense and Martin is nothing but a helpless victim. You can pretend you know what happened all you want, but you don’t. All I’m saying is I feel like there’s more to this that we just don’t have yet. 

 

The other thing that is really pissing me off right now is the media storm that has come to be. Celebrities twit-pics in hoodies, the rallies, the BLACK PANTHERS! It’s all SICK.

 

Anyways, here’s the FB debate, and I just want to thank Lauren and Brandi and Maggie and Trey for adding to it, and remaining calm and mature. It’s pretty common for me to be super vocal about these things and lose Facebook friends over it. I think everyone made really great points, and I look forward to seeing this whole mess concluded. My thoughs continue to remain with those grieving Mr. Martin at this time.

 

 

Kyle B Kucharski- Tired of all this Trayvon Martin bullshit. All the pictures and tweets in hoodies, are you kidding me? The Black Panthers putting a BOUNTY out on this guys head? This has gotten RIDICULOUS. They can’t arrest Zimmerman because he claims he was acting in self-defense. There’s an uproar when someone’s not arrested, there’s an uproar when innocents are tried… Society can NOT be pleased, no matter what. The justice system doesn’t always get it right, (Casey Anthony) but give it a flipping chance, would you? WE WEREN’T THERE, we don’t know WHAT happened. I have not made a decision about this, because there aren’t enough facts. I’m astonished at how many people are jumping to conclusions with next to no information whatsoever. I’m disgusted.

Casey Matson and Markayla Starr like this.

• • • Lauren McDaniel

      Well, what society DOES know is that he was a kid, with nothing but Skittles and ice tea on him. What we DO know is that a grown ass man went “hunting” around his neighborhood after being told not to by 911 dispatchers. We HAVE heard the 91…1 tapes of a kid crying for help and was ultimately murdered. Its called misappropriation of force…I don’t care how many skittles are thrown at me personally, I don’t think a 200-lb man can use the “self-defense” bullshit when he weighs a good 70 lbs more than his so-called attacker. Nope, I wasn’t there….but I don’t have to be present to know that Zimmerman was completely WRONG in how he went about the situation. Please, I’M disgusted. 
    • Katy Marie LoftinI agree to an extent. But the 911 calls threw me over the edge. & the phone conversation with the gf. The whole time on the 911 calls zimmerman is like “nigger this..nigger that” yet claims to not be racist ?!
    • Brandi ReevesI’m not going to state my opinion on this not enough time.. but I agree with you Kyle.. I hurt for the mother.. but the media has blown this way out .. and i just don’t get how people are to strive from hatred and racism if its always being made an issue in any situation involved with different races..
    • Kyle B KucharskiYES! Another one of my issues is how THIS case has sprung outrage, but what about the other hundreds of cases that happen JUST like this? And when a 17 year old male commits a crime we want him tried as an adult, but in this case we call him a ‘kid’? And being racist doesn’t make you a murderer, so Zimmerman calling Trayvon a nigger doesn’t mean anything as far as I’m concerned.
    • Kyle B KucharskiI’m not saying he didn’t commit a malicious crime, I’m saying the facts aren’t there.
    • Lauren McDanielEveryone is entitled to their opinion…and I have one more comment. Can you imagine how different this situation would be is Trayvon was white and Zimmerman were black? Seriously, he’d be locked up and facing first degree murder charges. I don’t care what anyone says, its sad but true.
    • Lauren McDanielif*
    • Kyle B KucharskiThat’s the thing though. The situation’s NOT reversed. Why even bother speculating how this would turn out if the situation was anything other than what it is? OJ is black, killed a white woman, and got off completely so that argument is completely invalid. Not to mention George Zimmerman isn’t white. He’s hispanic! He’s a minority himself, so why white vs. black EVEN comes up is beyond me.
    • Lauren McDaniel- We could have a completely separate conversation about the OJ thing, so I won’t go there. Let me ask this, though…why did Trayvon “look suspicious”? Even IF Zimmerman is not racist, Trayvon was still targeted because he supposedly looked …like other black kids that had been committing larcenies, break-ins, etc. in that area. I’ll agree that the White v. Black perspective has gone a tad too far…. because even if Trayvon and Zimmerman were both black or both white or both hispanic, what happened is still an injustice!!
    • Kyle B Kucharski I can 100% understand him calling the cops. The cops are there for you to call when something doesn’t feel right. If George Zimmerman looked out his window, and didn’t feel right about that kid out there, then he SHOULD have called the cops…. I’d have done the same thing. In fact I HAVE done the same thing. I’ve called the cops on a group of teens hanging around on a neighborhood corner in the dark even though they weren’t DOING anything. Difference being I kept my ass in the house and let the cops come deal with it. I can’t defend George Zimmerman for what he did, I’m just saying there’s no way in hell any of us can definitively call what he did ‘hunting.’ Racism will NEVER dissolve if WE keep making it an issue.

      And Trey, I did listen to the tapes. But what I’m saying is we don’t know what happened beFORE the tapes started recording! The whole thing thing about the legal system is you’re not supposed to convict until you can prove beyond a reasonable doubt. And again, I’m not saying he wasn’t in the wrong, I just need MORE evidence before I can personally form my opinion. A lot of my grief about the situation is the blowing up of the media. I want to know why THIS case gets so much press when there are plenty of senseless murders that get swept under the rug. It upsets me that the public can pick and choose which deaths are importand and which ones are by lack of coverage deemed unimportant.

    • Kyle B KucharskiAnd don’t even get me started on these Black Panthers!! Trying to fight racism with racism. Just kills me. ANYWAYS. ON ANOTHER NOTE. I love having people that I can discuss things like this with that remain mature and calm. People usually defriend me on Facebook for things like this haha. Thanks for the good talk ladies.
    • Lauren McDaniel- I agree on the calling the cops thing and I agree with about 95% with everything you just said…and I called it “hunting” because he went out after this “suspicious person” with a firearm on him. You’re right- Zimmerman should have stayed …in his house, on his property, whatever. Not go after him with a gun on his person! And yes, there are many murders that get swept under the rug, which is sad. I think other than the concentration on the race issue here, which is questionable, I think this has gotten so much attention because of all the 911 recordings. And since you commented on the Black Panthers before I could hit enter, I’ll add that I couldn’t agree with you more. Hatred is not the solution to hatred. Period.
    • Giuseppe ManconeNow I kind of want to watch 12 Angry Men.
    • Kyle B KucharskiYES. AWESOME movie. ’97 version AND the old one.
    • Maggie Henson You’re right, in this one case it’s difficult to sort facts from heresay. But: Zimmerman self-appointed himself as neighborhood watch, much to the dismay of the neighborhood, and the police who have been called out there almost 80 times, no…t just because he called them, but also because his neighbirhood found him to be somewhat too aggressive to people, even residents, and suspicious in the manner he “watched”/peeped in on people. He has a well documented criminally violent past, so there is also the question as why he was allowed to roam freely AND more importantly carry a gun. These facts, his physical stature, his evident persuit of the victim, and the percieved consistent apathy of the police department are why people are in an uproar in FLORIDA. It’s only national news, because it’s not only sensational and splits the country in two, but because his family and friends made enough noise to attract the rest of the nation’s attention, which has the span of a gold fish. Americans need to have at least 2-3 big, shiney stories to focus on at any given time. It’s all a matter of angles.
    • Kyle B KucharskiFair enough. If his record is that substantial, then I’d be interested in hearing the answers to those questions as well.

http://todayhea…

http://todayhealth.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/20/10774072-after-daughters-drinking-death-mother-tells-teens-look-out-for-each-other

 

 

AND ALSO. Saw this article on a pro-marijuana, anti-alcohol website I stumbled upon… The site is trying to say that if Molly had been able to smoke pot, she wouldn’t have been drinking as much, and that she wouldn’t have died of alcohol poisoning.

FIRST OF ALL. Molly was 19. She obviously didn’t heed the law that said no drinking until age 21, so I have every reason to believe that if she had …WANTED to be smoking pot, she would have, despite it being against the law.

SECONDLY. When are we going to stop blaming alcohol related incidents on the alcohol itself? You KNOW and accept the risks when you put the drink to your mouth. It’s an AWFUL thing that happened to this young girl and yes something should be done about underaged kids’ access to alcohol, but to go out and actually have the nerve to say that if marijuana was legal it wouldn’t have happened? Now that’s just IGNORANT.

 

It’s the same thing as with gun control! Are guns capable of killing? YES. People seem to overlook the fact that a TRIGGER HAS TO BE PULLED FOR IT TO GO OFF. Someone has to manually PULL that trigger for a bullet to come flying out of that barrel. We’re such a finger-pointing blame-happy society that no one seems to be able to take responsibility for their own actions. I have taken, passed and qualified through an NRA gun safety course, and I know how to use and respect the weapon. And being 24 years old, I’ve had enough alcohol to know exactly where my limits are and to know how to use and respect that as a drug of sorts. I accept the risks I take when I have a drink or handle a weapon. They are then considered extensions of myself and are MY responsibility. What happens when these things are in my control are of no one’s fault but my own.

 

Why doesn’t anyone GET that?!?

day 40: what are features you get complimented on a lot

used to be my hair. I mean, look at it, it was gorgeous. It still is now, it’s just not that long but I still get compliments. I get complimented on my eye makeup a lot… My standard is some purple eyeliner and black mascara, purple works really well with my brown eyes. but honestly, one thing I notice people tell me all the time is that I smell good. And let me tell you, there are worse things than being noticed for smelling good all the time!

day 39: why you think you’ve learned more from the good or the bad

This question doesn’t interest me.

day 38: thoughts on your generation

My generation is nuts. I mean, for the most part, I think they mean well..

I’m all about having a cause. I mean, if I had to associate myself with a cause, I think everyone knows that it would be suicide awareness. That’s my thing. So I guess at the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I’m SO sick of the young people attaching themselves to these ‘movements’ that are supposed to change the world… I guess I’m just not convinced that these kids even know what the hell they’re talking about. I mean, I hear about half this crap kids my age are associating themselves with, and I can’t help but think that if they actually knew what they were ‘standing’ for, they wouldn’t actually stand for it. I feel like a jerk for calling other people’s causes insignificant or silly, I know that knowing who you are and standing up for what you believe in is a battle in itself and that I am no one to judge others for what they deem important… I don’t know, I’m just over everyone trying to ‘stick it to the man’ and blaming everyone else in the damn world for their misfortune.

I’m 24 years old, no job, no insurance, crap car, wah wah wah. I’m not off blaming the government or all the millionaires in the world, I blame MYSELF. Now there’s something you don’t see too often! Maybe if I had seen college in an academic light instead of a party-ridden haze I would have gotten more credits out of it, maybe when I went back for the second year I should have stuck it out instead of giving into my parent’s suggestion that I take a semester off to regroup after the emotional beatdown that was August 2007. Maybe I shouldn’t have given up on community college just because they wanted me to pay for and take three remedial math classes that wouldn’t count towards my degree before I could even take the ones that WOULD count. Maybe I should have enlisted in the Navy back when I said I was going to. Maybe I should have done a lot of things but let me tell you what I CAN do, and that’s recognize that each and every one of those things I did or didn’t do is because I decided that’s the way I wanted it. Sure, I may be kicking myself in the ass for it now. Seeing the success of my peers around me is suffocating with jealousy, but I have no one to blame for that than myself. On the other hand, I HAVE LIVED. I may not be a chemical engineer in Dubai or teaching schoolchildren in China, or an officer in the Navy or the Army while going to medical school which is, by the way, paid for, like the other 24 year olds I know… But I have raised a kick ass amount of money for a cause I believe in.. And I’ve gotten to drop everything I ever knew and move halfway across the country for love. I’ve become really good friends with my parents. I took part in an unforgettable internship with a recording studio. I’ve taken risks, and I’ve built some very valuable connections  in my years since my high school graduation, and I know more about myself now than I ever thought I could know back when I was 18.

I went a little off track there, but my point was that the government had nothing to do with what some may label my unfortunate situation, the whole thing has been a product of my doing. It was my journey from the start, and to blame or credit it’s path and/or outcome would be nothing short of irresponsible and trite. This is my life, and I get to take the blame and the credit, no one else. I don’t blame the government, I don’t blame the millionaires of the world, their millions have nothing to do with my life, they are not taking anything away from me. I am so sick and tired of everyone wanting to take everything from the people that have worked their own ways to the top and have given themselves a life they’re proud of just so those less fortunate can feel more so. I’m not asking for any handouts because I am more than capable of making my OWN millions. And you can bet your ass that when I do, I’m not going to want to give any of it up to someone who wasn’t willing to do the work to earn their own.

Day 37: who are you

I’m Aunt Keilei yo.

Day 36: what you think about your friends

My friends are crazy.

Day 35: words you live by, why do you like them

 

Because life is shitty man. When you’re 5 and you tear your knee open on the playground, it feels like the end of the world. When you’re 6 and your best friend moves away, it feels like the end of the world. When you’re 8 and you find out your family dog has gone missing, it feels like the end of the world. When you’re 11 and you have to switch schools. When you’re 14 and you ‘become a woman.’ When you’re 15 and your boyfriend breaks up with you. When you’re 18 and your best friend goes for your ex. When you’re 19 and you find out your boyfriend is a cocaine addict. When you’re 19 and your nephew’s father commits suicide. When you’re 19 and you drop out of college… I mean, shit has been happening to people since the beginning of time, and we’ve been okay.

See the tricky part about it is, it’s not ACTUALLY the end of the world. That’s the thing, the universe isn’t going to deal you anything that you can’t handle. No matter how old you are, things are going to keep happening, and it’s going to feel like the worst thing that has ever happened in your life. And I’m not trying to discount the bad things that have happened in your life, the bad shit in mine was fucking bad. Nothing I couldn’t handle though, and that’s really all I’m trying to say. The worst thing in the world when I was 6 was my best friend moving away and at 19 was when my nephew’s father committed suicide, two awful things but on insanely opposite ends of the scale, you know? And the pain of some of these things never really goes away 100%, I mean… David’s death is something that resonates with me OFTEN, but I’m not in nearly as bad of a place as I was 4 years ago. We get up, we dust ourselves off and we keep fucking going, because if we didn’t… What the hell else would we do?

I mean. Out of my almost 9,000 days so far on this planet, not once has anything gotten the best of me. They’ve come close, but if you can try to put it in perspective then that is less than 10 situations that I even used as examples. That is like a week work of notable bad shit that has happened in my 24 years of existence. And while many of these things were life altering and soul changing, in the grand scheme of attitudes and life outlooks, those days were nothing. Because I also have the day my best friends dared me to glue a fake nail to my nose as a dare at a birthday party in grade school.. and when we GOT our dog.. When my dad would come home from his deployments. When my sister stuck up for me to her friends. When I got to be the Voice of Tallwood and do the announcements in school. When I won the science fair in the fourth grade. When I started playing the cello. When we got our other dog. When I got my first kiss. When I went to Hawaii. When I went to Ireland. When I went to Canada. When I went to Niagara Falls. When I learned how to drive. When I made Madrigals. When I first fell in love. My first time. When I went to Prom. When I graduated High School. When I went away to college. When my nephew was born. When my sister got married. Falling BACK in love. Moving to Louisiana for love.  Getting to come home…

There are so many more good things that happen to us.. The bad stick out, but the good is what gives us that drive to continue every day, and that’s exactly what we have to do.

Bad shit happens. But it’s not the end of the world.

Day 34: your horoscope for today and whether you think it’s accurate

Via www.horoscope.com for Friday, February 3rd.

“Your extremely overpowering emotions are apt to scare people off today, Libra, especially when it comes to matters involving intimate relationships. Unless your desired result is to convince everyone around you that you’re completely insane, it may be best for you to back off. Let someone else take the lead today and you may be quite pleasantly surprised at where you and this special person end up.”

Well… I DO have extremely overpowering emotions. Like Kristen Bell said on Ellen the other day, “First thing you should know about me… If I’m not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotional scale, I’m crying. [Crying] if I’m too sad, crying if I’m too happy.” Me? Same thing. Everything makes me cry, I am a certified crybaby. It’s definitely right about me being emotional today too, that’s spot on. I won’t go into it here, it’s a private family matter, but today is a big emotional day, and who knows.. Maybe I WILL end up scaring someone off today. That of course is not completely unusual on a normal day either though, so that’s just an every day chance. It says matters involving intimate relationships, but I would have to say that it’s not the intimate relationship that everyone would jump to. The emotional matters do involve someone especially close to me though, and I can see how someone may or may not perceive me as insane, so I apologize about that I really do. I would have to say that today’s horoscope knows what it’s talking about. Sorry y’all, that’s all you get out of me today.