Day 11: the worst advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given.

I’m surrounded by really intelligent, experienced people in my life, so fortunately for me, bad advice is hard to come by.

When I decided to drop everything and move to Louisiana, my family and friends were extremely supportive. But every once in a while I would come across someone who would try to talk me out of it. I spoke to one friend who flat out told me I couldn’t do it. “Don’t do it. You can’t POSSIBLY move halfway across the country for a man, are you kidding me??” PJ and I had been in a very on and off relationship for years, being off for the majority of it, and had only reconciled a month before I made the decision to go. I can see where folks would be concerned, nothing in our history suggested that our relationship could make it, the entire thing just went against everything that made sense.

I was aware in my head that it wasn’t necessarily the smartest thing I could possibly do.. I mean, I had only met PJ’s mother once, four years previous… I hadn’t ever met either of his sisters or their children or anyone else in his family.. I didn’t know what I was going to do for work, I didn’t know how to live in an apartment on my own with a boy and pay bills and grocery shop and be an adult. All I knew was that I was in love with a boy,  that I wanted to be with him, and that I had to move to Louisiana to do it.

It ended up being an incredible experience. Not only are PJ and I still together after almost nineteen months later and after 15 months of living together, but I learned so much about myself in that time too. As it turns out, I’m a serious Susie Homemaker and I learned so much more from my mother growing up than I would ever have cared to admit. I remember calling her a few times apologizing for complaining about chores when I was younger because “Really Mom, HOW HARD IS IT TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH!” and “Why can he put his clothes NEXT to the hamper, but not IN IT??” I know my parents missed me when I was gone, but one of the best affirmations to my decision to leave home was when my dad would tell me that he didn’t worry about me. I mean, of course he WORRIED about me, but he knew that I was going to be fine, and that PJ was going to look after me, and he just wasn’t worried.

I’m back in Virginia now, but PJ will be up here soon too, and we’re just going to continue on in our journey from the east coast. When it comes down to it, you can consider all the advice in the world, but none of it really matters as long you know in your own gut what it is you need to do.


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