My generation is nuts. I mean, for the most part, I think they mean well..
I’m all about having a cause. I mean, if I had to associate myself with a cause, I think everyone knows that it would be suicide awareness. That’s my thing. So I guess at the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I’m SO sick of the young people attaching themselves to these ‘movements’ that are supposed to change the world… I guess I’m just not convinced that these kids even know what the hell they’re talking about. I mean, I hear about half this crap kids my age are associating themselves with, and I can’t help but think that if they actually knew what they were ‘standing’ for, they wouldn’t actually stand for it. I feel like a jerk for calling other people’s causes insignificant or silly, I know that knowing who you are and standing up for what you believe in is a battle in itself and that I am no one to judge others for what they deem important… I don’t know, I’m just over everyone trying to ‘stick it to the man’ and blaming everyone else in the damn world for their misfortune.
I’m 24 years old, no job, no insurance, crap car, wah wah wah. I’m not off blaming the government or all the millionaires in the world, I blame MYSELF. Now there’s something you don’t see too often! Maybe if I had seen college in an academic light instead of a party-ridden haze I would have gotten more credits out of it, maybe when I went back for the second year I should have stuck it out instead of giving into my parent’s suggestion that I take a semester off to regroup after the emotional beatdown that was August 2007. Maybe I shouldn’t have given up on community college just because they wanted me to pay for and take three remedial math classes that wouldn’t count towards my degree before I could even take the ones that WOULD count. Maybe I should have enlisted in the Navy back when I said I was going to. Maybe I should have done a lot of things but let me tell you what I CAN do, and that’s recognize that each and every one of those things I did or didn’t do is because I decided that’s the way I wanted it. Sure, I may be kicking myself in the ass for it now. Seeing the success of my peers around me is suffocating with jealousy, but I have no one to blame for that than myself. On the other hand, I HAVE LIVED. I may not be a chemical engineer in Dubai or teaching schoolchildren in China, or an officer in the Navy or the Army while going to medical school which is, by the way, paid for, like the other 24 year olds I know… But I have raised a kick ass amount of money for a cause I believe in.. And I’ve gotten to drop everything I ever knew and move halfway across the country for love. I’ve become really good friends with my parents. I took part in an unforgettable internship with a recording studio. I’ve taken risks, and I’ve built some very valuable connections in my years since my high school graduation, and I know more about myself now than I ever thought I could know back when I was 18.
I went a little off track there, but my point was that the government had nothing to do with what some may label my unfortunate situation, the whole thing has been a product of my doing. It was my journey from the start, and to blame or credit it’s path and/or outcome would be nothing short of irresponsible and trite. This is my life, and I get to take the blame and the credit, no one else. I don’t blame the government, I don’t blame the millionaires of the world, their millions have nothing to do with my life, they are not taking anything away from me. I am so sick and tired of everyone wanting to take everything from the people that have worked their own ways to the top and have given themselves a life they’re proud of just so those less fortunate can feel more so. I’m not asking for any handouts because I am more than capable of making my OWN millions. And you can bet your ass that when I do, I’m not going to want to give any of it up to someone who wasn’t willing to do the work to earn their own.