So, July 5th I wrote my super awesome post about reaching 198.9. It was the 20 lbs lost mark, and it was VERY exciting. I was concerned that without having a Facebook to post the blog to, that no one was going to be reading it… Posted it to Twitter, and had more views in one day than ever before! It was REALLY uplifting, I won’t lie. I started this blog on January first, and until last week, my most popular post had been the one I wrote on January 4th about my sister. I was really excited that people were interested in my success, it made me feel really good!
My Aunt, Uncle and cousin came into town that Friday, and all hell broke loose. Haha okay not REALLY, but it’s just something about the Polish side of my family that persuades me to eat things in quantites that aren’t necessarily good for me. In all actuality, I didn’t do too horribly while they were here, but I definitely wasn’t as disciplined. I did eat some sponge candy, had two pieces of GIANT pizza on Saturday when I took my 15 year old cousin to the beach.. (she had never seen a beach before! Had to make it special =]) I ate more of my dad’s delicious super salty potatoes than I should have, ate more popcorn than I should have, ate some ice cream…. EEK! Anyways, all weekend I was sitting pretty (pretty fat!!) at 202, 203. ROUGH. I didn’t go to the gym on Sunday… It was just bad all around. Not to mention I had a HUGE internal dilemma yesterday, I came DANGEROUSLY close to hitting Hardee’s and snagging a 500 calorie chicken biscuit for breakfast. I can’t believe I almost did that! I literally had to talk myself out of it, “Just drive past it. Drive past it. Drive past it.” Also, I REALLY did not want to go to the gym yesterday. In fact, when I talked to my mom around 3 in the afternoon, I told her that I was probably going to skip it and she gave me grief for it. I got a little upset, my thought being “I work my ass off ALL the time, what’s ONE more day off on a day I’m not feeling it??” She made me feel guilty, and so I went and did my 70 minutes of cardio. 730 calories later, and what do you know, I was glad I did. I knew I would be, and I KNEW I’d have regretted it if I didn’t go. So Mom was right, PER USUAL! I had also managed to convince myself last night that I could have the chicken biscuit TODAY, I mean, I had gone to the gym when I didn’t want to, I deserved it!!! (Oh, the INSANE things we can justify to ourselves….) Long story short, I woke up this morning, the scale read 199.7. I went to the gym when I didn’t want to, I DIDN’T eat the chicken biscuit when I DID want to… And the scale rewards me. Seeing the scale move after a few days of fighting with it was all I needed to push me off the greasy chicken biscuit train. Don’t want one now.
It’s crazy the things our minds will do. I mean, one would THINK that if you were to see a number on the scale that you’re not happy with, you would in turn be more disciplined. For me, at least, it’s the opposite. I see a higher number than I want, and I get a very pronounced “FUCK THIS” feeling that encourages me to eat everything in sight. Whereas you would think that if you see a SMALLER number on the scale, you could easily convince yourself that it’s okay to cheat a little, you’ve done well. But for me, seeing a low number on the scale gives me a very pronounced “FUCK YES” feeling that encourages me to step up my game. I don’t get it, but that’s the way it is.
People have been starting to notice my weight loss, and that helps tremendously. In losing weight, you tend to start feeling like you’re working your ass off to no avail. My mom mentioned to me the other day that my backside is looking smaller. My dad chimes in with a “Well I wasn’t going to bring it up, but I’ve noticed that too.” And it IS true. The 20 (okay, 19, WHATEVER) lbs that I’ve lost have been primarily from my ass-region. It’s true. My pants fit better than ever. I’m still wearing my size 16 pants, but I can GET them over my ass, fasten them with greater ease than ever before, I’m not muffin-topping, and I don’t feel like my ass is so large that it’s going to blow my pants to smithereens. It’s a pretty damn cool feeling. That, and when I was walking down the hall in the office yesterday, a co-worker walking behind me goes, “Man your waist is TINY!” !!!!!!!!!!!! Um, how good does THAT make me feel? I mean, my waist has always been the smallest part of my body. Last time I measured, (in February) my waist was a full 14.5 inches smaller than my hips. That’s a HUGE deficit. The fact that my hips are shrinking is making my waist more visible, and I got a compliment out of it…. That’s so fucking cool, pardon my french.
That’s all for now… Just felt a little out of touch with myself this past weekend, but feeling good again so wanted to write about it. 🙂 I hope you’re all doing fantastically, and continuing to work hard!!