Oh my god you guys.

So do you remember my last post where I talked about how strong I had been to avoid the Hardee’s chicken biscuit, and how the scale showing me newer, lower numbers made me not even want one anymore?

Yeahhhhh, well guess who won THAT fight this morning.

Yeah, I don’t know how that happened. I don’t know how it happened, but I can tell you what… There’s a lot going on in my head about consuming that greasy 500-600 calorie breakfast sandwich.

1. Most importantly, I’m okay that I gave into the craving. I had been fighting this craving for going on a week, and I just know that had I not had one, the reprecussions may have been catastrophic. Whether it would have been annihilating a bucket of KFC this weekend or eating an entire pizza to myself with no one around, I knew that if I did not respond to my brain’s demand for this biscuit, something terrible would happen. I didn’t get the tater tots, I didn’t get the sweet tea… Not that any of that makes it any better, but I did not go out with all guns a-blazing. I was able to recognize my specific craving, and decided to satisfy it.

2. I’m also glad it made me feel terrible. It’s 12:25 and I have not gone to get any lunch because I’m flat out not hungry for anything. Immediately opon finishing the biscuit (in my car with just my boyfriend, because god-forbid anyone at work see me beast that biscuit) I felt as if the grease created an impermeable lining in all of my blood vessels and my organs. I feel very thick and icky, and I’m not happy about it. It’s been a terribly long time since I’ve had one of these biscuits, I’m hoping next time I have a craving I’ll be able to bring back the memory of how NOT awesome it made me feel. No matter how much water I drink I can’t get rid of the greasy film in my mouth.

3. It’s imporant to remember that that one damn biscuit is not going to make me gain the 20 lbs I’ve lost. If I’m proactive, it won’t even make me gain one. I have the tools to counteract the damage done, I just need to utilize them. I will not use my momentary lapse in judgement to throw the rest of the day away. I woke up this morning and saw a newer, lower number than even yesterday. 197.7 today. No one has ever been so happy to weigh 197.7 lbs. I will not throw my 190’s away for that biscuit. I’m going to kick my own ass on the elliptical today. I will do the same as I did yesterday, which was watch 2 episodes of Glee from Netflix on the iPad. That was 900 something odd calories burned right there, and I’ll also do the weight train circuit. Dinner is going to be super clean, spinach salad with 4-6 oz of the curry chicken I made last night.

4. I’m NOT going to let this affect me physically OR mentally. I will not feel badly about it. I will learn from the experience. I am not perfect, nor is anyone expecting me to be. I’ve accomplished so much on this journey already, and this morning’s choice for breakfast does not make me a failure.

5. I think that even the amount of time that I’m spending thinking about everything that went into eating that this morning shows how much I’ve grown lol. I mean, my senior year in high school, (come with me down memory lane for a second Kirsten!) I was in an all girl jazz choral group. We met during first block, and had the most laidback teacher in the world. He was also fat. No wonder he would let one or two of the seniors drive over to Hardee’s at least once a week and grab breakfast for everyone. I probably had one of those biscuits 6 times a month!!! And I wonder how I got fat. (the chinese food he let us go order in our study blocks probably didn’t help either.)

Needless to say, I’ve decided that breakfast this morning is not the end of the world. If I had one every day, or 6 times a month, we’d have a serious problem on our hands. Well, I’D have the serious problem on my ass, but you get the point.

I can still smell the biscuit. Am I sweating grease? So gross.

(Also, anyone else who is pretty sure that picture is ACTUALLY of a Chick-fil-a biscuit, NOT a Hardee’s chicken biscuit… You’re a fat kid too. Just FYI.)

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