The end of an era.

This is a hard one. Two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I broke up after being together for two years. We’d dated on and off for about 6 years, but this was our big stretch. There was a long time in there that I was 100% positive that I was going to marry him. No matter what the reasons were for breaking up, who initiated it, how much better off we’ll both be on our own, it’s still hard. This is someone that I shared every single day with for a very long time. This is my first love, my high school sweetheart. I miss him now, and I’m going to continue to miss him for who knows how long, but I honestly do think that this is the best thing for us. I told him and I’ve said it before, that if love were enough, we wouldn’t have ever had a problem. He was a good guy, and I really value the time I was lucky enough to spend with him. I grew up a lot in that relationship, I learned a lot about love and about myself. I’d gotten so used to being so attached to this other person for so long that it’s taking some readjusting to try and get a handle on my newly ‘single’ status. I don’t like the term single though, it implies that I’m open to being in a relationship, and I am not. Not right now, I’m not ready. This break up is truly the end of an era, the end of what was the most important relationship in my life for a while, and I need some time to just be me. I’m a little more than halfway done with my weightloss journey, I’m really throwing myself head first into work,  I hope to begin school again in the spring and there’s musical I want to audition for next summer… So really, there’s so much going on that I don’t think it would be fair for me to even attempt another relationship any time soon. I couldn’t even imagine it.

Anyways.

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