prep is no joke!

Well it’s been like a month since I wrote last and announced my plans to compete in bikini at the end of June. I guess it’s about time for an update, right? Why not. 

I said prep is no joke, but I’m not even ON prep yet! This is like, PRE-prep! Crazy. So I’ve been working out and eating on this new plan for a month now- and it’s interesting. I’m doing less cardio than I’m used to, and finding that it’s very difficult to force myself out of bed at 5:30 in the morning for only 35 minutes of cardio. It’s so much easier to say, ‘Psh, what’s 35 minutes?So THAT has definitely been an adjustment. The workouts are great, CJ has given me a book of personalized workouts for every single day, with different set and rep counts every week, and I am usually sore SOMEwhere every day- which I love. I don’t work one on one with him all the time, but have been lifting at his gym so that if I have any questions or need any help with anything, he or one of the other trainers are right there to assist- this has been a huge part of the process. And the diet’s not impossible either. Lots of eggs, chicken, green veggies, bananas, protein shakes- All stuff I love! The work week is the best for my diet because my days are very routinely structured- easy to stick to my meals. The weekends are tough- I get one cheat meal a week but it’s really hard to walk past a dish of M&Ms and not justify a couple by pretending to lump it in with my cheat meal haha. Hanging out with my friends hasn’t been impossible yet, they’re all really understanding of what I’m going through, and don’t seem to mind when I bust out a dish of chicken and broccoli at 8:30 in the evening and eat it wherever we are. But I imagine as the diet becomes more strict, it’ll be tougher to do. 

The hardest part is the actual changing of my body, and accepting these changes into my logical mind. I have been at this for 4 weeks now, and as of today I am up one lb. I think it’s a fake lb, fluctuation, but still. The first day of training I weighed 159 lbs- in the four weeks- I have not gone over 160, but I haven’t been under 158 either. I know in my logical mind that muscle weighs more than fat, and I realize that a pair of size 8 pants I bought last month are now too big for me… I can see the muscles in my quads growing, and I can see my arms becoming more defined and my shoulders developing… These are all wonderful things, but for as often as we talk about how the scale doesn’t matter- it’s hard to let go of it completely. I recognize that my body is changing in a positive way, but that damn number has GOT to come down. I’m eating well, and I’m working out regularly. I know it’s irrational to worry about the number, but I do, and try as I might- I can’t help it. I’m sure as my body continues to transform into what I WANT it to look like, the number will bother me less and less, but I feel like I’m so far away from where I think I need to be for June, and it’s stressful. I’m doing everything I’m supposed to (Okay I had a tall Skinny Vanilla Latte today, but my brain was broken, it was my first coffee in almost 2 months and it was necessary.) so I just need to trust the process. I don’t know when I’ll have my measurements taken again but I hope the tapes show more of a change than that damn scale does. That will also help me put my mind at ease!

I’ve already calmed down from where I was this morning, had a couple good friends beat some sense into me, treated myself to a tall coffee, blasted my current favorite song on repeat until I got to work, and wore my new favorite outfit that I picked up for super cheap at the thrift store this weekend. So I’m good, and I’m ready to work back this evening, and I’m thinking I’ll even go to hot yoga when I’m done at the gym tonight.. I haven’t been in about a month and I think it might be just what I need to get some serious sweat on and get my had back in the right place!

I have 2.5 weeks left until the official 16 week competition prep starts, and I’d really like to make some big strides before then. My french toast cheat meal brunch is already planned for Sunday morning with my best friend, and I’m going to be perrrrrrfect until then, and work out hard. Also no more skipping AM cardio- no matter how much I hate getting off an elliptical after just 35 minutes! 

IT’S GO TIMEEEE. 

 

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10 thoughts on “prep is no joke!

  1. Conni Jo says:

    I feel the same way about the scale. I “know” I shouldn’t focus on the number but it a piece of data that I can clearly see (or not see) changes on. My mind plays tricks on me when I look in the mirror, but the number is the number. Anyway, you’re awesome, you look awesome and I thank you for your positive/REAL attitude.

  2. LuLuscious says:

    I know it’s silly for ME to be telling YOU this, but don’t forget about those pics you’ve posted showing Laura at 160 before gaining muscle and after. That is one of the most inspiring pictures for me. I’ve brainwashed myself since my early teens into thinking lbs= self worth. And it’s just not true, or healthy.
    Anyways, thanks so much for being so open about your triumphs AND struggles. It’s nice to have a real person to look up to. 😉

  3. Randi says:

    You got this girl!! Keep your head up. You’ve already done so much throughout this journey, what’s a scale gonna tell you that you don’t already know!! Sending some positive energy into the universe for you. May you believe and continue to achieve, much love for you KYLETHEGIRL. 🙂

  4. savynaturalista says:

    I am happy I thought I was the only one who had scale problems, at least you get a cheat meal I don’t know if I want to do a bikini prep, but I would love to have abs and I can not wait to see yours…

  5. Erwane says:

    Hi Kyle, oh my god, how much I understand what you just wrote is crazy and is sooooo good to my aching little heart!! haha I have been so good since mid-january with working out lots and eating clean and I have NOT dropped a single pound! I have even started out TRX (u ever heard of it before?) and its been brilliant, such high intensity training and been sore somewhere different every week!! but still haven’t dropped a single pound! I weight the same weight as you and when i see how slim you are, i know it’s possible to look at that weight but yet, i get OVER frustrated and to the point of crying when i see the scale although im sure if im patient my dedication will shape my body!! that scale own us far too much girls !!!

  6. Whitney says:

    You are the biggest inspiration! You look amazing and are working so hard! I started the 2nd week of October 6 weeks after giving birth to my son..I’ve gone from 271 and im at 215-212. I can’t seem go get under 200 and i work so hard and eat so good! Any advise? Im getting disheartened 😦 good luck to the rest of your journey as well!

  7. Alison (mamathegirl) says:

    I am frustrated FOR you because I see how hard you work and how honest you are about your meal plan. But just as you hit a plateau in October, maybe you’ve hit another one. AND just as you did last fall, you’ll bust through this one as well. I don’t have any doubt. And I still love how you write.

  8. Jessica says:

    Kyle, I recently started following on you on Instagram and decided to check out your blog. While I am not prepping for anything (simply trying to lose weight the healthy way and through work with a personal trainer), I feel like I know what you are going through. My clothes fit differently, I can see my muscles changing, I feel 100% better – but the number on the scale won’t budge.

    I really thought I was alone in my frustrations, but I’m glad to know I’m not alone (as hard as it still is). You are such an inspiration, and I hope I look as good as you some day. Just remember that and keep plugging along.
    Good luck, girl!

  9. trainlikeyoucare says:

    I completely agree. The scale is a monster. You can’t help but take what it says into consideration but when you train hard and are gaining muscles the scale will not be a good indicator of what you have accomplished – as you mentioned above. You know your body is improving but we are monitored to listen to the scale. So sad. Congrats on your work though.

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