I wasn’t prepared for this.

When I decided to lose weight, the only thing I knew was that my body was going to change. That when it was all over- I was going to look different. And while I’ve since learned that this is a lifestyle change and that it will never truly be ‘over’, I could not have prepared myself for everything else in my life that was going to change along with my body.

Yes, I look different. I lost 70lbs and went from a size 18-20 jean to a size 4-6 jean. I used to wear XL shirts and dresses, and can now buy a Medium without trying it on. I can shop in standard department stores without the fear that the store doesn’t carry my size. I can wear a 2-piece bathing suit without being ashamed, and I can now wear tee-shirts without a tank top underneath to ‘hold everything in.’ I can wear dresses and other form fitting articles of clothing without Spanx- which was the devil’s idea, by the way. When I go shopping and decide not to purchase something- it’s usually because I just plain don’t love it, not because I can’t fit into it. These are all things I anticipated. These are things I expected. These are the things I WANTED.

But along the way, I began to notice other changes that I DIDN’T really think about beforehand. I went to a hockey game after I’d lost about 45lbs, and was pleasantly surprised at how different sitting in the tight seats were, as opposed to when I’d gone 6 months earlier. I got onto an airplane this past August for the first time since losing 70lbs, and raved like a crazy person to my boyfriend about how weird it was to be on an airplane and not feel like I was sitting in TWO seats instead of one. I can sit with my legs crossed for extended periods of time without them falling asleep. While I’m not even close to being ‘skinny’ or skeletal, I’m fascinated by my hipbones… by my collarbones… by my shoulders… I look at myself in the mirror OFTEN. A stranger on the street may think I’m being vain, but in a way- it’s not much unlike a visually impaired person after Lasik, or that video of the deaf woman after she got a device implanted that allowed her to hear… This body is new to me, and it’s fascinating.

No one could have prepared me for my newfound role in society. I never once expected to have a successful internet presence, to be recognized out in public, to be called an ‘inspiration’ on a daily basis. (I’ll never get used to that!) No one could have prepared me for the thousands, upon thousands, upon thousands of people that would be contacting me from all over the world to ask me about what I’d done, about how I’d done, it, and about how they could do it too.

No one could have told me that at the end of the day, the actual losing of the pounds would be the most inconsequential part of the entire process.

I joke a lot about the crazy e-mails I get and the repetitiveness of certain inquiries, (I’m 5’10” 😉 ) but I don’t often mention the other kinds of e-mails I get. On a daily basis, I get e-mails from people around the world who tell me that I’ve inspired them, that they’ve found a personal connection to my story and my journey and that seeing me conquer this dream shows them that they can do it too.  I hear from men and women, young and old, fat and skinny, pre-weight loss and post-weight loss, happy and depressed, hopeful and pessimistic, lost and found…. I hear from people from all walks of life, and I’m always surprised at the level of trust that people have in me, and what they’re willing to share with me. Fun fact, I’ve cried twice this week alone from e-mails I’ve gotten.

The physical portion of the weight loss journey, while important, is probably the smallest piece of the pie… Pardon the food reference… What many people don’t realize is how much of a MENTAL journey it is. You have to DECIDE to lose weight, you have to DECIDE to get up and workout, you have to DECIDE to trade some of your junk food for the foods you need to properly fuel your body. It’s all up to that brain of yours to MAKE your body to what you need it to do to make the changes you crave so badly.

I’m asked all the time about what workouts people should do and what food they should eat, or how to avoid snacking on junk food or how they can make themselves wake up in the mornings to go work out…. My replies generally consist of “I’m assuming you’re looking for an answer other than ‘Just do it.'” DECIDE. You have to DECIDE what’s worth it, make the choice, and commit. I don’t mind sharing my favorite tips from the gym or the kitchen- but when it comes down to it- all most people are really looking for is a push to do what they need to do, and that’s what I’m here for. I’m here as proof that when your mind is in the right place, you can do whatever the flying hell you put your mind do. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. You don’t need me to tell you what to eat.

I don’t think having lost weight makes me anything special, but for some reason complete strangers are comfortable in confiding in me and sharing their deepest and darkest secrets with me. They like having someone to talk to when they feel like maybe no one else will ‘get it.’ THIS. THIS is the most important piece of the puzzle. While I’m proud of myself for the physical changes I’ve made to my body- my favorite part about the whole thing is getting an opportunity to be there for the people who want to do the same thing, and who just need a little push to get them over the mental blocks that are holding them back.  This is my purpose and my reason.

No one could have prepared me for that.


10 thoughts on “I wasn’t prepared for this.

  1. whitney says:

    @KyleTheGirl. I think you are honestly amazing! You have inspired me in more ways than even you will probably EVER know! I am a mother of four, two of mine and my husbands and two step daughter’s. I was nearing 271 by the end of my pregnancy with my son, and could hardly believe it. I looked at the scale in DISBELIEF because 220 was the highest id ever gotten, and even that was a huge shock to me when I reached that number! SO you can only imagine what 271 felt like! I was sad, depressed, unhealthy, and couldn’t even hardly keep up with my children! I hid behind bigger clothing, and even though my husband always made me feel beautiful, I was still ashamed! My husbands ex-wife taught my two step daughters to call me “miss Piggy” “fat cow” ugly, and an array of other horrible names. She would post pics of extremely fat girls, and say it was me, and even though I acted like it didn’t bother me, IT DID! Of course that hurt, and it made me feel even worse. I had tried working out, walking, but was still eating horribly, and could’t figure out why I wasn’t losing weight! Then, I was searching on twitter one afternoon, and there it was, KYLETHEGIRL. Your photo’s sparked me to read your story, and began to realize, IT CAN BE DONE! I know you mentioned you hear it EVERYDAY, but I am so glad to hear, you care, and truly are interested in others journey’s and helping them! It may only be a picture of progress, or a gym workout you’ve done that day, but you truly are helping those of us out there that need the extra push, or help! THANK YOU! Because of your inspiration, the love of my children, and my HEALTH, I am down 69 lbs as of today! I still have 52 to go and everyday your are an extra push to get to the them! I feel SOO much BETTER, not to mention, look a million times better in my jeans and tee’s 🙂 Don’t get me wrong, my husbands ex is STILL telling the girl’s to say things to me, but you know what’s said now? “girls that workout look like men, shes gonna look like a man!” I can take that! because I know, FIT girls LOOK DAMN GOOD NAKED! and I know we don’t look like men! 🙂 haha, THANKS AGAIN! @W_NAVAFITNESS -Whitney Nava

    • kylethegirl says:

      First of all, YOU GET ON WITH YOUR BAD SELF.

      Second of all, THAT WOMAN NEEDS SERIOUS THERAPY. I hope you get to spend plenty of quality time with her daughters and use that time to try and teach them what it means to be a kind, loving, and accepting person. The things she is teaching her children shows A LOT MORE about her character than it does of yours. I just hope it doesn’t stick, and that those girls don’t grow up to be small-minded and cruel like their mother. They’re lucky to have you, you give them a beautiful example of strength and courage and self-empowerment.

      Keep it the fuck up, because you’re a total badass.

      • Whitney says:

        @kylethegirl THANKS SO MUCH! That truly means a lot! My husband and I have gone through so much with the girls and their “mother” for a lack of a better word, but honestly I’m blessed and thankful to be in their lives and be a good role model to them! I’m helping my youngest lose a little weight right now, and have been able to tech my children healthy eating patterns! It’s been awesome learning about food, and fitness from you! You rock! Thanks again SO MUCH! You have helped CHANGE MY LIFE! Also, my husband WHO HATED the gym, now works out regularly and eats SUPER helalhty too! All thanks to you!! 🙂

  2. Kristen says:

    I semi-teared up reading this post. I came across your FB/instagram/blog midway through my weight loss journey. I still consider myself to be midway through it but you are amazing. The fact that you do everything with a job is wonderful to me. Proof that you don’t need to drop everything else to dedicate yourself to being healthy and loving your body.

    I’ve stopped trying to sugar coat the weight loss journey for others. There is no easy way and it’s so inspirational to find others who agree that the biggest part is getting up and just DOING IT. You have to want it. You can’t expect it to come to you.

    Thank you for never losing sight of that and for helping others the way that you do. 🙂

  3. Lynsie says:

    I believe you have some sort of office job..but reading your blog posts… I think you should have been a writer. Seriously. I have an Honours in English AND I am a teacher…So I am not just fangirling over here. YOU my dear, are SO talented!!!!!

    Have you ever thought of doing something like that? Well, you should.
    So just please write a book about your life story so I can buy it…..and read it all within a day 🙂

    You are amazing. I love all of your IG posts and everything about you really.

    Have an amazing weekend.
    And thanks again for being amazing
    (Can I say ‘amazing’ ONE more time????)

    Amazing (kylethegirl)

  4. Ibss says:

    @kylethegirl I would like to just thank you for being such an inspiring person. I found you from Laura’s page and have been hooked on you & your story ever since. You have done a tremendous job in terms of fat loss and gaining confidence; it’s evident in the way you speak and in all your pictures. I’m a university student and I have a hard time balancing all of the things I need to get done with my health/fitness goals, but I now know that no matter what, it can be done. I have been stuck at 140-145 lbs (5’5) for the longest time and all I need now is to lose the last couple of pounds, but it always seems so impossible – but trust me, your daily posts help me feel less of that. Honestly,I have never felt more motivated to lose weight and workout. A couple of months ago actually, you had inspired me to make a fitness IG account (mymission2abs), and I did, for accountability, because I felt that I needed it; I kind of fell off the ‘good’ wagon for a bit so I stopped using and posting on that account and it …all went downhill from there. I feel more motivated NOW to continue with it and commit and like you said, DECIDE and keep going, and I think that with the right mindset and your inspiring posts I will get there, Thanks again Kyle & Keep doing what you’re doing 🙂 ❤ – Ibada

  5. Amy says:

    I’ve lost 60lbs and went from a size 14-16 to a comfortable size 6 (with some of them being too big).. I’m 5’3″. I think the weirdest thing about losing weight is that people that you meet have NO CLUE that you once topped the scales at 200+. I’ve still got more weight to lose, and I know I could push myself harder, but the reality is I work 45 hours a week at my job, come home to be a full-time mom and my husband travels so I “single-mom” it a lot.. I already give up enough time from my family that sometimes I cannot justify giving up more time away from my family. That’s ok with me too. I often try to find ways we can be active while doing family activities but sometimes the little ones just need to cuddle on the couch. I often get up at 3;45 so I can get a workout in before 5am and I have to start preparing for my long days! It’s all sacrifices, its about MAKING time. I had a friend told me I inspired her to get up extra early and workout. As a mom if I wait until I get home from work to exercise… LIFE happens and at 8pm, after being up since 5 am, I am too exhausted to workout.

    But I love your story, Kyle. I also love that your name is Kyle and you’re a girl. My daughters name is Dalton and if, god forbid, I ever have another female child she will have a boy name, too.

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